Humor from spam

Humor from Spam

Humor from Spam: One of the unanticipated perks of having your own website is sometimes, you get some unexpected humor from spam. Sometimes it is a hoot.

Why would people (computers) from all over the world go out of their way to provide such funny comments on this website? (Really I don’t know, the question was rhetorical.) What I do know is that we block them before they are added to the bottom of each post just so that the spammers don’t take over and ruin the place.

Spam is the reason that comments, made by real people sometimes get delayed. The waiting period is so that I can review them.

How it happens

So what happens is this, when a spammer makes a comment on the website, they are blocked. All the spam comments are sorted automatically into a separate folder. Every day, I go through the folder and throw away the obvious spam comments that are trying to use this website to promote their product (which is usually has something to do with sex). The sex comments are very easy to discard without much effort. No, I don’t care to see your dirty pictures.

But even after that, I have lots of spam comments left over. All these comments are designed (poorly) as an attempt to lure me into opening the door to them — so that they might be able to do bad things to multiple articles.

Some of these comments are where I get the humor from spam idea. This post is just me sharing the humor from spam so everyone can get a chuckle.

Insiders verses spammers

I call the real people who make real comments “insiders” and the way to become an “insider” is to introduce yourself.

Thank you, to all the wonderful people (insiders) that say really nice things in the comments. I hope someday that we may get to meet in person. So let us know anytime we seem to be getting close enough to get coffee or something. The fact that we don’t know all of you personally makes me kind of sad.

As for the spammers, we don’t want to meet you (or your computer) nor do we care to let you have immediate postings. You are not “insiders”.

Many (most) of these comments aren’t made by real people, just computers. I think that getting spam is a sign of having a successful blog.

Some of the comments very funny. I am sorry that I discarded so many without sharing them. I figure that humor is best shared, so here goes. All of these comments have never seen the light of day — until now. And I hope you find them as funny as I do. (no editing involved) Here is a small selection from this week’s humor from spam.

Real Spam comments

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Not real people

I assure you that the programs that filter all these comments are not looking for grammatical errors, nor were these real comments by real people. Every comment was made as part of an attack that hoped to gain posting access. If a spammer gets posting access they will flood every article with spam posts. This would necessitate taking down the site and reloading it from backups.

I have had spam without the obvious grammatical errors. (They are not as funny.) These comments are often not on the subject. Sometimes comments are vague and easy to spot as spam. Sometimes the hint that the comment is spam is found in the email address. Any email address that starts with the word porno, or is from the domain “waffle house” is not going to be added to the website.

Someday perhaps these spammers will go away (dream on). I can tell you that I get about 40 spam comments per day. I don’t know how super popular websites can sort through it all. This may be a case of me not knowing what I am doing.

Not automatic

We used to use a Google program that required our friends to enter a code to make a comment on a blog page. Entering the codes was a pain — for everyone including me. But the code prevented computers from making comments without entering the code. Instead of using this google program, I installed a filtering program. So, instead of blocking the spam, the spam comments are sorted to a separate spam folder. I go through the spam folder every day. This way I can control what is being published. So far real comments from our friends haven’t ended up in the spam folder.

Coffee humor

Every morning I drink my coffee and sort spam both in my email and now on the website. I hope you enjoyed this humor from spam comments as much as I do.

How to stay out of the spam folder

Please introduce yourself. That is it. Until then it is hard to tell what comments are spam and what comments are sincere. If you are a real person, and your comment ends up in the spam folder, first I am sorry and second, please introduce yourself. I would love to know you.

Invitation

So, if you are a real person, and want to spread some humor, here is my invitation, go ahead and make a comment. I’m pretty sure I can sort through them so that real humor is allowed and humor from spam ends up in the trash. (Remember, if you don’t see your comment immediately it is probably because I haven’t reviewed it yet.)

I put this article in the snippets section because it doesn’t fit anywhere else. The snippets section seems to be a growing grab bag of unrelated stuff.

Usually, I don’t send out an email about additions to the snippets section so if you haven’t visited that part of the blog, here is a link. Snippets

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